The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. 500 matching entries found. Next View All. There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. Every passing year brings in an experience and a hope for tomorrow. Booth Tarkington. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. Hope you keep doing the same. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.". George Carlin Birthday Quotes & Sayings - Search Quotes That's exactly what I want you to think. Share with friends. "Men are from Earth . Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.56.I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify or belong to.57.The planet is fine. It is time to party! George Carlin quotes and jokes about humanity. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid, number 2 on Comedy Centrals 100 best comedians list, 25 Hilariously Honest Chelsea Handler Quotes, Beyonce Quotes: The Best Lyrics and Lines From Lemonade, Adele Quotes: The Best Lyrics and Lines from 19, 21 and 25, The Weeknd Quotes: The 25 Best Lines & Lyrics On Love. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts.18.In America, anyone can become president. My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. The more you age the more valuable you become. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Like. George Carlin They never mention that part to us, do they? I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. What does it mean to pre-board? Then you're just what they're looking for. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. Book by George Carlin, 2004. May you have them both. What does it mean to pre-board? Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, This website or its third-party tools use cookies, which are necessary to its functioning and required to achieve the purposes illustrated in the cookie policy. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. There's a humorous side to every situation. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. George Carlin (2002). Ally Carter. George Carlin. It's your 60th birthday! Happy 60th Birthday! 1. At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, d..k Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. //]]>, by Quotezine Team November 3, 2013, 10:53 pm. John Allison. By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout CBS / Landov "Weather tonight: dark. "George Carlin: You Are All Diseased". Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, artist, author, actor, and social critic. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion, George Carlin (2004). Get ready for your Birthday prank today as well. Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. I wanna live. May your smile get brighter with each passing year. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. He would cover any issue no matter how contentious in a way that felt authentic and in line with his personal beliefs. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. "In America, anyone can become president. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Every wrinkle has its story. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid., by Quotezine Team April 5, 2018, 5:39 pm, by emmanuel tamrat July 8, 2016, 8:54 am, by Quotezine Team April 24, 2016, 10:32 pm, by Quotezine Team February 15, 2016, 10:17 pm, by Quotezine Team November 27, 2015, 7:19 pm, by emmanuel tamrat September 14, 2015, 2:06 pm, comedianscomedy quotesdeadfunny quotesfunny quotes and sayingsfunny sayingsgeorge carlinlovemarriageone linerspoliticsreligiontop 25. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. On War - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - TIME There are some secrets we keep because we can't bear to let them out and some because it's better to keep them in. I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Who said youre sixty? Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.23.Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.24.I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. Every day we present the best quotes! There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics. Hey'It's your 60th birthday!' "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 172 Copy quote. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.". Weve collected some of his greatest quotes all in one place. 70+ George Carlin Quotes About the Crazy World We Live in The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. There's no present. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. You know an odd feeling? Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.48.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.49.So, have a little fun. We haven't tried that for a while. George Carlin. That's our history. He had an uncanny ability to cut through the clutter of everyday life, and for this, we want to honor this man with our favorite inspirational quotes from George Carlin. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You know an odd feeling? It seems only right. On your birthday, I promise to keep all your secrets, to flood you with gifts and never to miss a chance to make you smile. Thank you! The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Deal with it.3.Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.4.Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.5.A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.6.Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.7.The caterpillar does all the work, but thebutterflygets all the publicity.8.Never argue with an idiot. 500 matching entries found. I love individuals. It is time to sing and dance, and it is time for birthday bumps! If youre looking for a glimpse of what George Carlins comedy gigs look like, here is a masterpiece from his HBO special known as the Life Is Worth Living. Its an amazing and hilarious 10 minute clip offering a highlight of what this guy was capable of. Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. 25 Insanely Funny George Carlin Quotes . Fewer Texans. Home. 125 Best George Carlin Quotes on Life - Parade "),c=g;a[0]in c||!c.execScript||c.execScript("var "+a[0]);for(var e;a.length&&(e=a.shift());)a.length||void 0===d?c[e]?c=c[e]:c=c[e]={}:c[e]=d};var l=function(b){var d=b.length;if(0
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